Studio Visit (2 Nov)

Drawing



Paint: White/Yellow/Red/Blue.
Anatomy
Interior/exterior

Trying to focus on references to make myself clear.
+ Things I like
+ Things I dislike

Malick, Mickel, Jannat & Camille (2019-2020)

Please turn on subtitles



So when I chat to Danny it will be about:

I have been thinking about abundance, that there’s so many things around me, going on at the moment, like waves and frequencies, ghosts, wifi and sounds, some sort of connectedness, a force which brings us all together, a prayer, an intention, a wish, a vision, a rush of joy, as opposed to isolation, fear and loneliness, despair and hopelessness. I like to think that we can tap into our sense of abundance and I wish to find ways to illuminate, elicit, activate that ‘mode’, that side of us. And I believe it is very specific, as an intention is, so specific and tied to a moment, a place, a feeling, a spirit, a person, ya know, and it’s undetected by the evil eye. And it’s that, that I believe in.

My work is often described as generous, about connectedness, me being with my friends, and sometimes I don’t really know what it is what I am trying to say or do , and I get defensive because I am being criticized by my words or actions but not my intentions, that’s what I mean with that I want to be heard but not public, I want to have the time to develop what I am trying to say do you know what I am saying? Before I get shut down. My intentions are sometimes fuzzy too. It’s when I am confused. When the world gets mixed up with my insecurities. I put up a big front and scare myself away from everyone. And start again from scratch. I’m tired of that. 

I think the work on the roof is a big bold action, which is also a part of me, to take big risks, but that’s not at the core of who I am, or what I am trying to say or do, so a part of me wants to humble it a little, adjust the intention of the action to the actual scale of it, like Jan said it is like a phone size thing, in the end, and I am not mad at it, I feel like I should have decided that, but when I developed it, all I wanted was to be micro or macro, but I don’t know anything in between, like eye to eye. It’s like when I imagine changes to be they either small like a seed, or are overwhelming like a whirlwind, a tornado sweeping everything up. So maybe I am trying to adjust my thinking to life size increments, a day to day change, not these six drastic changes  I have done in my life, upside down, etc. I guess in a way I am trying to believe in the day to day change, the marathon runners, not the glimpse, but also not the take over, it’s the… realistic one. That I am trying to do right now. 

The question is whether I should restage it and invite the neighborhood as planned, but I dont feel like it, to cut the video, probably and that’s not that much effort. Because I am jumping onto another thing cos I canno conclude this one properly you know what I mean? But I am not good at concluding things anyway. I think I need advice on that.

Yeah, I can see where I am going now. It took a while but I can see it, as things get more blurry. I feel joyful.



Making radio is important
to explore djing, genres, audience and promoting my image as DJ

Having a studio is important to have as a host, to have as a place for archive, to have as a place to build physical work, to make work on a large scale

I would like to develop a studio based practice focused on drawings that are in itself lively and support the projects

I would like to write all that I am thinking, feeling, experiencing, predicting, nostalgia, heartbreak, sadness, longing, joy

I would like to develop a healthy, rigid, productive, inspiring joyful routine where all aspects come together:

  • Djing
  • Hosting
  • Writing
  • Planning and executing projects
  • Drawing
  • Admin
  • Archiving


LoveStruck FM

For Operator Radio I did a second show but it went kind of wrong technically so… anyway I collected dedications from my friends and played them live on air.

Studio

Creating the studio was a project on its own.

I am really focusing on experience and vibe, that’s why I am a DJ.

But I create these experiences so I can experience them myself. Innit! So…instead of organizing a party or playing a tune, let me make the tune myself.

So maybe i will look more for images. Image research. 

I just realised how much my work in the UK , about my friends, is still my work, because when I look at images, that is what I keep seeing, myself in hypothetical communities, the hope that we are all together. And the praying thing is … just a thing to do.

But that’s okay. To keep making these odes to my friends.

Hapticality is still a thing.

And i think the ‘image’ is us doing something introspective. Opening up. Being heard but not being public. Showing love, sincerely, showing fear, showing belief, showing strength, sincerely. That is truly inspiring. When it is true.

Unsarcastic, unironic art. Unsarcastic unironic music. Unsarcastic intentions. Unpretentious: no neo paganism, no ‘schoolin’, no complete erasure and start a new utopian art, no dogma’s.

No re organisation of hierarchy, just showing what is already there, it’s already understood, it already lives in us.

Yeah abondance, I focus on abondance, what a beautiful life I have lived, what beautiful cultures I have experienced, what beautiful people I know. 

We have community.

Listening to Larni’s mix makes me want to listen to DJ Vivi’s mix. Rah I need to find the real djs here. I been focusing on too much soul, slow music … 

ANYWAY, apart from community. It would help if I could produce something that one could purchase. I feel like I am in the same boat as musicians, promoters and djs (obv) who are so dependant on the infrastructure to help them take up space – the people, the date and the venue. But i’m gonna turn that into something materialistic – it is like what neo liberalism is – wow my brain’s spaced out. Anti capitalistic art cos I am anti capitalistic in my heart.

Jimmy to take me places that meant a lot to him. Explore Rotterdam through his life. I will take photo’s / videos and will use it to focus my drawing practice on. I will place scarecrows.

Our place is the streets. 

The image of the Malick & Me lightbox in the grass. A photo of that.

Thank you DJ Swivo & DJ Larni for bringing me back. WOW.

The drawings need to make sense. How to honor a life through drawings. Mix Buddha’s life with Jimmy’s context. Role of paintings in Cambodia is to tell a story. Tell a story of strength, honor, perseverance, etc….. Wow dope.

Tell a story of the apsara dancers, the naga princesses. Half collage, half ancestral myth. But not futurism.

The docks, community hall, 90s houses, mix between old pictures, spirits, I see an apsara figure but not an anime one, but in spirit, in actual spirit, not as a representation but as an energy, but also vivid. Maybe it works with light. 

Maybe to make a lightbox in general is very good.Lightbox is also an ipad kind of. Or any type of screen really. Hmm ok! Actually no because then I’d have to make a lightbox for the work to work, lol.

I am done I think…


Other stuff

For eleven weeks I was a staff member for the radio play ‘The Dream’, where we worked with young people to develop a radioplay focused on the Mangrove 9, the Race Relations Act and the Black British Panthers.
Developing something with Mae (UK) and Micah (USA)

Studio visit: 8 Oct 2020


In April, I climbed through my apartment’s window for the first time and saw this vision – I immediate drew it on the iPad. I become obsessed with trying to recreate that image for the next six months.

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Performance


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References


Malick, Mickel, Jannat & Camille (2019) is a series of participatory performances which took place over a period of six months in North London.

The performance was an invitation to a number of locals to follow a three-part instruction of a self made veneration ritual, loosely inspired by a Khmer animistic practice that dates back to Angkorean times.

1) Can you take me to a public place that holds a memory for you?

2) Can you offer food, incents, drinks and candles to honour an ancestor with me?

3) Can you sow seeds in a patch closeby?

The instructions are loosely inspired by a Khmer veneration ritual during ‘Pchom Ben’, a fifteen day ancestral remembrance festival. Locals pay respect to deceased relatives up to seven generations by offering food and praying at their local pagodas.

It is believed that during this time, the gates of hell are open and ghosts descent and wander around,
feeling hungry.

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Notes


Plans


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DJ’ing is not a part of my art practice per se but it’s my refuge, a place I call home and I need it to ground myself so I can do the art stuff

I would like to start my own radiostation, called lovestruck.fm